You still have, all of me
by Never Wanted To Dance
Summary: What happens when Ishida dies thanks to the new English transfer student? Will Inoue hold a grude against her. Or will she be the ever so kind Inoue we all know and love? Will she ever see Ishida again?
1. Chapter 1

The sound of the heart monitor that was keeping my friend alive, well my friend and boyfriend

The sound of the heart monitor that was keeping my friend alive, well my friend and boyfriend. I love that boy, he's my everything. If he died now I don't know what I'd do. He's helped me so much, he's helped me get over the fact Kurosaki doesn't love me like I'd want him to. Ishida does, and it breaks my heart to watch him struggle for his life in a bed.

After everything we've been through, one accident might bring his short life to an end. I felt tears prick my eyes as I thought of this, I loved him too much. He can't leave me, not now. It's all that Kat's fault. Kat being the new English transfer student, although I'm sure she hadn't intended on doing it, she'd led him across the road where the car had hit him.

I had been stood there on the other side of the road, screaming for them to watch out.

Then there was a squeal of brakes, then a scream belonging to me and then silence. I remember putting him into the recovery position hoping somehow he'd be fine. I remember carefully running my fingers through his raven hair whispering words of comfort to him. Things like, 'Ishida you're going to be ok,' turns out I was only trying to console myself and even then my own words didn't comfort me.

_Flash back_

_I ran into the middle of the road to where Ishida laid not moving, not speaking. As foolish as it was to run out like that, I didn't care. I wanted, needed to get to Ishida._

"_Ishida-kun," I cried._

"_Uryuu please wake up, I'm sorry Uryuu I didn't know," Kat's voice broke as she spoke, her English accent as strong as ever._

"_Ishida-kun, quit acting," I smiled at him. My smile faded when I turned him on his side to notice blood coming out of his ears. _

_End of flashback_

I heard Ishida moan slightly in his sleep, I guess the pain was too much for him. I sat in the chair beside him before gently taking one of his hands and rubbing my thumb back and forth in his palm.

"Inoue-san," he said so quietly it was barely audible.

"Ishida-kun I'm here," I replied.

"Where's that English girl?" he asked.

"Kitty-san she left, she seems to think it's her fault that the driver accelerated," I replied softly.

He slowly turned his face to face me, I definitely didn't like what I saw. I still loved him but his face was stitched in at least 4 places, his eyes didn't quite point forwards. Then I realized there was a reason for this, he didn't have his glasses on his face. It was only when I realized this that I truly appreciated his eyes. They were so beautiful, so appealing.

"Inoue-san," he said, his voice was hoarse most likely from not using it for a while.

"Yes Ishida-kun," I asked, he now had my undivided attention.

"You know I love you don't you?" he asked, "always have even when you had that crush on Kurosaki, I still sat back and watched even though I loved you. I wanted you to be happy," he added.

"Ishida-kun," I smiled, he was so nice, "I am happy, I love you, forget Kurosaki-kun."

He smiled as I leant down and kissed his pale cheekbone, I then put my head next to his before I spoke again.

"But I'll tell you this Ishida-kun. I don't like seeing you in pain, if it hurts so much to keep living please give up. I don't want to lose you, but I don't want you to be in pain either," I said, "who knows we might even see each other again," I added.

"I'm hanging on for you, Inoue-san," he replied.

"No Ishida-kun please for me give up, I can see you're in pain. Pain that I can't heal Ishida-kun," I said sadly.

He smiled at me, and then he closed his eyes as I wrapped my arms around him. Careful not to disconnect the tubes that were attached to him. A couple of minutes later he went limp and lifeless. I knew then that he'd given up. I never thought he'd listen to me and give up, or maybe he couldn't fight any more. Either way I sat there and cried into his midnight hair of the body of my Ishida-kun. My everything was gone.


	2. So stay with me

So stay with me

So stay with me

**Kat's Point of view**

I didn't mean to get Ishida-kun hit by the car. Although he'd insisted it wasn't my fault since I wasn't supposed to know the car was going to accelerate towards me. He'd pushed me out of the way and took the impact himself, that's what makes me feel guilty. Why he'd pushed me out of the way was beyond me. It's not like I deserve to be saved.

"Whatever you do Ishida-kun please don't die for Inoue-san's sake," I whispered to myself.

After I'd said that I felt a stabbing sensation in my heart, then my stomach began tying itself in knots causing me agonizing pain. I ran as if the dead were chasing me, I ran as if my life depended on it. I had a gut feeling after that, the feeling that Ishida was indeed dead. The feeling that he'd died saving me.

Of all the people he could've died saving, he died saving me. He died a hero. What if I hadn't stepped out into the road, what if I hadn't trusted my poor judgement? Well I know the answer to those questions; Ishida would still be here obviously.

I couldn't help but feel sorrow for Inoue-san she'd loved him so much, you could see it in her eyes. Her happiness has gone now. Through that constant smile plastered on her face I could see her emotions in her eyes, even if it was sorrow I could see it. Why she put a brave face on everything I guess I'll never know, but I suppose I'll leave her to live like that, appearing to be happy when she isn't.

"Kitty-san," I heard a familiar males voice, I shook my head it can't be him he's dead. Even though I do believe in ghosts and I've seen them before I refused to believe that Ishida was a ghost.

"Kitty-san," the voice repeated more impatiently this time.

I looked up to see Ishida stood in front of me, a frown on his face. He actually looked human, but he couldn't be I was so sure he's dead. I mean there's not one visible injury on this version of Ishida.

"Ishida-kun," I sniffed. He cocked his head to one side, a rare puzzled expression on his face.

"Why are you crying?" he questioned.

"Because you're dead Ishida, you died saving me of all people," I cried, the tears falling heavier and thicker down my face.

"It was my choice to save you Kitty-san, we weren't to know that the driver of that car was going to accelerate," he tried to console me, yet he failed.

"He was aiming for me Ishida-kun, not you, he put his foot on his brakes when you got in the way," I cried hysterically.

"It was my choice to push you out of the way," he shot back.

"What about Inoue?" I asked.

"She knows, she told me to give up if it was too painful to keep on living, I didn't want to give up Kitty-san I didn't want to give up but the pain, the pain got to much to bare," I saw at least on tear fall down his ghostly face.

So now I knew, Inoue the kind hearted loving girl she is had told the rather stubborn Ishida to give up if the pain got too much. He was hanging on for her, and then the pain got too much for his delicate body to cope. He'd died with her by his side.

"Ishida-kun," I wiped my eyes as I spoke.

"Do you know what she said to me, she said I'll see her again someday," I swear as he spoke this time there was a hint of sorrow. I didn't even know ghosts could portray emotions.

"Well you might Ishida-kun," I replied with a small brave smile.

Then it crossed my mind, what if he never sees her again? That would only upset the ghost of Ishida even more. I then began to sing softly under my breath.

**Can you forgive me again?  
I don't know what I said  
But I didn't mean to hurt you**

I heard the words come out  
I felt that I would die  
It hurt so much to hurt you

Then you look at me  
You're not shouting anymore  
You're silently broken

I'd give anything now  
to kill those words for you

Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."  
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.

'Cause you were made for me  
Somehow I'll make you see  
How happy you make me

I can't live this life  
Without you by my side  
I need you to survive

So stay with me  
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.

And you forgive me again  
you're my one true friend  
and I never meant to hurt you

Ishida looked at me a mixture of confusion and depression in his eyes, "I'm sorry I left you here," he stated.

"It's okay Ishida, you didn't know the car was going to aim for me," I replied.

"Shame that the last conversation we had ended on bad terms," Ishida stated folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't mean to insult you on your Quincy pride, it just annoyed me," I replied.

_Flashback_

"_I swear on my Quincy pride that I will protect you as well Kitty-san. You as well as Inoue-san, Kurosaki, and Sado," he smiled at me. _

"_Will you quit with the Quincy pride already? You're not supposed to do things on 'Quincy pride' as you so proudly call it. You're supposed to do things because you want to," I exclaimed. _

_His crestfallen face immediately made me feel guilty as we crossed the road, I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I didn't mean to upset him like that. I didn't mean to taint the meaning of Quincy pride to him. Then there was a revving of a car, the feeling of Ishida's body flinging against mine, throwing me to safety. Then there was the spine tingling sound of Inoue's scream._

_End of flashback._

"I'm sorry Ishida-kun, can you forgive me?" I asked.

"I guess so, I'm not one to hold grudges for too long really," he replied.

_And he forgives me again; he's my one true friend. And I never meant to hurt him._


	3. Her worst fear, the paranormal

**Inoue's point of view.**

I remained clinging to Ishida's dead body, as if hoping that my tears which were transferring to his skin will bring him back. Obviously they weren't going to any idiot knew that.

I left once dawn broke, the dawn that confirmed my lover was dead, the sun lit up his pale ghostly face. Illuminated his closed eyes that won't ever open again. Regret washed over me as soon as I saw his limp body in the sunlight.

_I wish I hadn't told him to give up._

But surely had I not told him to give up he'd have been in intolerable pain that I wouldn't wish on anybody. I just hope I will see him again when I eventually die and pass on. Although we learned that it's rare to see people you once knew when you get to soul society, there was still a small chance.

_He'd been holding on for me._

I don't know why he'd been holding on for me, but he had. Was it love? Was it the fact that I'm so useless I need protecting by him all the time? Or maybe it was because he wanted to prove how his limit had grown, how his endurance had grown?

I remember walking into something solid whilst being in deep thought; this startled me until I realized who it was. His scowl usually made me giggle but today was different; I don't think anything could cheer me up today.

"Inoue, what's wrong? Why are you crying? What's happened?" Ichigo asked the concern was clear in his warm brown eyes.

I embraced him before crying my answer into his chest, "Ishida's dead Ichigo dead," I cried. He returned my embrace upon receiving this information; it was like he could feel my pain. Like he and Ishida were like brothers in the end. Although they liked to say they were 'sworn enemies' they really had gotten closer recently.

"I was actually about to go and see him," I thought I heard a slight hint of sadness in Ichigo's voice as he spoke. I thought I felt his chest shudder and a tear hit the top of my head. This wasn't like Ichigo. The Ichigo I knew and loved was headstrong; he was strong physically mentally and emotionally. Now however he was breaking down in public?

"Ichigo," I said whilst wiping my eyes.

"Inoue," he replied, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," I replied with a small sad smile.

**Ichigo's point of view **

I can't believe it, Ishida of all people….. Dead? This being the one male who told me not to die, ever since he wished for our rivalry to continue, well it was something like that. Seriously Ishida's dead, and here Inoue is sobbing her heart out into my chest.

"Inoue," I said gently, "I think we'd better go inside." She looked at me, confusion on her face. Then she smiled the usual Inoue smile. How she could muster up the energy to smile now amazed me.

I hated this feeling of emptiness; I hadn't just lost a friend but a rival as well. We were 2 opposites, Quincy and Shinigami. Two things that apparently shouldn't associate with one another, yet Ishida had tossed this rule to one side. With his death came the death of the Quincy's, he was the last one.

I gently led Inoue to my house; I figured she wouldn't want to be alone right now. Once I got to my front door I braced myself for the usual foot in the face from my father. Only to find it never came when I stepped in the house, I shrugged this fact off and just went to my room with Inoue behind me still.

"Inoue, please sit down," I said politely, she did so on the end of my bed.

"Kurosaki-kun, why are you being so nice to me?" Inoue asked. I couldn't blame her; it was rather uncharacteristic of me.

"I know how you feel to lose someone you love dearly," I explained, she already knew that my mother had died thanks to some hollow called grand fisher. He'd used a decoy and I'd fallen for it. She'd died protecting me. Obviously though Inoue had lost 2 people, Sora and Ishida, well we'd both lost 2 people. I mean I didn't love Ishida like Inoue had but we had some kind of bond between us when he was alive.

She collapsed across my lap and cried, beating her small clenched fists against my pillow repeating the same thing over and over again, "It's my fault, I should have stopped them," she cried.

_It's not her fault, why does she blame herself? Should have stopped who? I'm assuming one of them to be Ishida, I knew he'd gotten hit by a car but I never knew the reason he'd been on the road at that point._

"I should have stopped Kitty-san and Ishida-kun; he was protecting her Kurosaki-kun. He was protecting her from some car that I think was aimed at her," Inoue sobbed.

_Ah that's why he was in the road._

**Ishida's point of view**

**(A/N:-I'm aware he's dead, but he can still have a point of view)**

I looked at Kitty-san as she cried, I didn't know I'd be missed this much. I did wonder how Inoue was bearing up, probably not very well since she was there when I gave up. I didn't want to give up, just after she said to give up a huge wave of intolerable pain came over me. Clearly my body hadn't been able to cope with it.

"Kitty-san cheer up," I tried to console her but to no avail, I'm no good at these things.

"Cheer up? How can I cheer up when you're dead and now standing in front of me? What do you expect me to do laugh?" she questioned.

"Well no what I meant was don't cry so much. It's only me that's died, I didn't know I'd be missed this much," I stated whilst walking away from her.

"You didn't think you'd be missed?" Kitty enquired, "why not?"

I turned to look at her again before I spoke, "well let's say I was never exactly popular."

"No-body's perfect Uryuu," she replied.

"Yeah I know, I didn't want to be popular either," he smiled as he spoke, "well I suppose I'd better go and see Inoue, I'm quite worried about her you know?"

I then began walking away from her again, its weird walking as a spirit I feel lighter a lot lighter to be exact, "You coming Kitty-san?" I asked.

She shook her head before she gave me a reason as to why not, "I don't think Inoue-san will want to see me right now Uryuu."

I leant my head to one side chewing my lip in deep thought, "Inoue-san is very forgiving Kitty-san," I stated handing her an almost holographic arm, she flinched momentarily as if she thought I was going to attack her or something.


	4. A not so happy reunion

**Okay guys I'm really sorry it's been a while, (not that anyone's subscribed or reviewed) hint ;). Its just I had exams.**

**Inoue's point of view.**

I sat on my crushes bed, crushed and destroyed. I'd tried to maintain a smile and I'd failed with one small task. I'd failed again, failed at protecting Ishida-kun. Real good friend aren't I, never mind girlfriend. Ichigo gave me a look, this look was one of concern and worry, like the one he once gave Rukia.

Rukia left recently and hasn't come back, and ever since then Ichigo hasn't been his usual fiery self. He hasn't been as hot-headed either, if he fails at something he doesn't try again too many times like he used to. It worried me deeply; as now he got cut easier, and there was no heart behind his sword, no will nothing. He just goes through the motions now. Who knew she had such an impact on him?

Whenever he defeated someone now his eyes would be full of remorse and regret, however he shrugged it off every time calling it 'duty' nothing more. However it's his choice if he continues being a Shinigami representative or not, its like through staying a shinigami he's hoping to find Rukia again. Everyone else in our class had forgotten about Rukia, they'd even forgotten her existence at all. However Ichigo and I will never forget her and are in debt to her for what she's done for us.

A gentle hand brushed fiery hair out of my face, I looked up knowing it was Ichigo, he gave me a reassuring smile, yet his eyes showed nothing but pity and sadness. Like he was regretful that he hadn't been able to save Ishida, I knew what he was going through, I felt the same.

_Why? Why hadn't I done something? I knew I should have done something but I hadn't had the courage and now he's dead._

I noticed the curtain billow in a non-existent breeze, Ichigo's eyes followed my own, to find no-one other than the source of his happiness. Well that's what I assumed anyway since as he gazed upon her a small smile graced his features. There bold as brass stood Rukia, violet eyes scanning us both a blank expression on her own face.

A couple of minutes later, a 'pineapple' as Ichigo called him appeared in the open window of the room. I'd never been more relieved to see him and his tattooed face.

"Orihime," he said with a nod in my direction. Ichigo was still staring at Rukia as if in shock of her return.

"Abarai-kun," I replied as he came closer to myself looking at my eyes, an anxious look came across his face.

I then let the tears fall from my eyes, I'd tried not to but clearly the task now was too difficult. Renji's face was a mixture of shock and horror; he stood there biting his lip clearly not knowing what to do. His eyes narrowed before he glared at Ichigo.

"What did you do to her?" he asked, small flames dancing in his eyes.

"I did nothing, I was just comforting her," Ichigo growled, his and Renji's noses at this point were almost touching.

I sat there with Rukia and simply watched the two hot headed men scream at each other. Are they trying to deafen everyone in the room? Rukia placed one hand on my shoulder in a comforting way, as if she knew. She gave me a gentle smile before embracing me where I cried into her chest. Now I knew why Ichigo had liked her.

All of a sudden the image of sora's hollow became vivid in my mind; it then distorted and became an Ishida version. It was then I silently prayed that would never happen.


End file.
